Amor Vitae Meae
by xBlackStars
Summary: One-shots of my various Inquisitor/Herald, F!Trevelyn and her relationship with Commander Cullen. O/S, Drabble-fic, chapters are not always connected or in order. Possible, what should have been in the game. *spoiler alert* K Rating, Non-Graphical Smut.
1. Chapter 1: The Breach

**a/n:** this is my first ever DA fanfiction. I have however beta-ed a few before, which can be viewed on my profile. I am in need of a beta, so forgive me if there are any errors – there are probably a lot, even though I've read through it multiple times L forgive me. I also apologize for the fact these are my own warped ideas of what should have happened in the game, not saying I didn't love the scenes, I did but c'mon, who doesn't want their fantasies played out.

Constructive criticism wanted, any negative non-helpful comments will be removed and blocked.

**Summary:** One-shots of my Inquisitor/Herald, Amelia Trevelyn and her relationship with Commander Cullen. O/S, Drabble-fic, chapters are not always connected or in order. Possible, what should have been in the game. *spoiler alert*

**For future references:** my character is: Amelia "Lia" Trevelyn and a mage, to picture what she's like, I've uploaded a picture and is available on my profile to view.

**Word Count:** 1,089

**1\. The Breach**

The breach was finally closed.

She done it, without the Inquisition she probably wouldn't have made it through. Corypheus was dead, locked away in the fade where he so badly desired to go. Just a distant dream, so Amelia hoped - something she wished never to be seen again. It's hard to comprehend how she got this far, just an ordinary circle Mage who adored her life of order; whilst her family loved her and the Templar connection was always a constant in their heritage, not once did she hope to have magic. It was only her, Lia's father nor her mother had magic in their DNA and yet neither of her siblings had magic. Was her fate decided before she was born, to unite to world by a single enemy - magic itself? _The irony,_ she thought as she stumbled through entrance of Skyhold; the cheers and the shout of her name, were audible even before she walked through to find all members of the inquisition before her. It was only when she straightened, forcing herself to look un-injured as people celebrated in joy of the passing of the worst nightmare - that was when she realized, it _was_ over.

No more burdens to carry on her aching shoulders, no more lives or fates controlled by her own hands.

Glancing up, Lia's eyes met golden ochre ones - a side smile gracing his lips but first she had to thank her council members. Cassandra, who herself proved to become a valued member of the team and later a true friend, Leliana, a sisterly figure - one that Trevelyn had always wanted yet never received and finally Josie; a character who out shined them all, her knowledge and grace had got them through some difficult times.

Last but not least, Cullen; Lia's beloved, the man who had been by her side since day one; who had trusted her when she was just a Mage, who went against his beliefs of magic and what he had experienced in his life before the Inquisition. Yet Lia got to know him like the rest of the team and it wasn't long before she found herself lingering on his every word, butterflies in her stomach. So when she wanted advice or just wanted to see how he was – he was there waiting and Lia couldn't help but want to get to know him, his life and his family. Each time she'd enter his quarters for an update, he'd be there and it was only after the chess match that Lia couldn't hold it in anymore.

Whilst she had never loved before or had never experienced the comfort of another's arms - with Cullen she soon found his lips against her own in surprise. His confidence as an Advisor showed both physically and emotionally, it was all in that one kiss. The taste of his mouth against hers, the feeling of his body pressed against hers it was all too much.

Snapping from her thoughts Lia found herself at the top of the steps, a relieved smile gracing her lips but it isn't her team she goes for and they both know it. Lia moves forward, wrapping her arms around Cullen's neck whilst resting her face on his furry paldrons. In that moment she doesn't care, whilst they both prefer their romantic life is kept private - they both needed it, it was hard enough forcing herself not to kiss him. The desire to take him and bury herself in passion and lust, to show him how thankful she was that they're both here.

The rest of the evening went past like a blur; it's only when Lia's retired to her room that he stops her once more. Desire ignited in the pit of her stomach as he followed behind her into her large-scaled quarters. It's one of the few times she's been with him in her own room, preferring his than her own – it being far too big and luxurious for herself when her troops reside in much less than what she has.

She's not used to it, at all.

It's over, but what does she do? Where does she go from now? These thoughts penetrated through her sleep, leaving her wide wake after a passionate love making affair with Cullen, who is sleeping peacefully and nightmare-free. It's not something she's used to and Lia can't help but question herself, did she do the right thing? Are they safe now? Its in her nature to help people, it always had been since she was young but what happens when Thedas no longer recognizes her as the higher Authority and soon, she'll just be a forgotten memory? What if Cullen's lyrium addiction becomes too much and she wakes one morning to find he had forgotten who she is, who she was and no longer recognizes their love?

"Lia…" His deep voice drags her name out into a sigh, as if scolding her because her mind is too overactive and he knows it; knows her so well. Her fade green eyes flick over to his, moving from her position to cuddle into his – her cheek resting on his shoulder, her leg thrown over his waist as Cullen wraps his arms around her, embracing her tightly; as if not wanting to let her go. Which is true, the former Templar can't stand the thought of losing her, of letting her go and it had been playing on his mind since the confrontation with Corypheus.

"Stop thinking about it, I'm here. We'll get through it together, I promise."


	2. Chapter 2: Healed

**a/n:** sorry for the delay with posting this, been rather hectic at work and my life has gotten rather busier since the holidays have passed. Do not fear, I have more O/S written it's just the posting that's the problem! Again any errors, please contact me - I'm proof reading and I tend to skip my own mistakes.

Without further ado.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but my charrie and my addiction to Cullen (including his wicked ways)

**Word Count:** 663.

Healed.

She's asleep beside him when Cullen starts convulsing in his sleep, or rather nightmares. The thought makes her heart ache; he shouldn't suffer because of a choice he refused to uphold. It's only when she wakes, a soft whimper and moan of, "Leave me alone." That causes her to lean over; the blonde mage begins to soothe him by placing her palm on his cheek, her thumb making a soothing motion. A thought pops into mind but she refused to acknowledge it, he's had a tough life with mages and she couldn't bear the thought of making him worse; whether he claims that she's is different than any other mages. She naturally presumed it's because he's never seen her in combat, never used an essence of magic around him simply because she's afraid of setting him back in his progress.

Yet the heart clenching noises and words escaping his lips makes her move impulsively, she damns the consequences because she just can't bear the thought of losing him. Her hand moves up just slightly so her palms cup his temples, her lips dry and her own heart racing with anxiety. She only allows a small, minor amount of magic essence to flow over him, just a small healing magic; taught by the first enchanter herself. He moans, convulses a little more before going still; it's only then that Hannah removes both of her hands and rests beside him.

"I'm sorry." She whispered through the darkness, a few tears spilling from her eyes as they begin an endless water cycle. The thought of the consequences from her actions make her feel guilty, he hated magic and whilst he knew she was a Mage, she refused to allow him. There had to be an answer for his withdrawals. Trevelyn slips from the bed, the warmth and comfort from her lover before sitting in the chair in the far corner she had placed just days ago. Bringing her knees to her chest, she allows dawn to rise before she sees him waking from his slumber what feels like years later when in comparison, it's only been an hour or so – she's noticed the way the room is lightening up ever so softly.

"Hannah..." He whispers, his voice husky from sleep, his golden eyes meet hers and for once he's confused as to why she's so far away from him. "Why are you over there?" Cullen asks, his voice tinged with the confusion he's experiencing, it's even more frustrating when her response is a question; "How are you feeling?" And for once, he feels fine as if he slept without his fair share of demons, the twisted reality of the fade and no headache; the almost constant throb in the morning after waking from his painful slumbers has yet to show.

"I feel good, no headache. I feel _good. _Why? What's wrong?" It's only when he moves to her, his naked body being ignited by the barely rising golden sun, he's before her, pulling the blonde into his lap so she's straddling Cullen's thighs before burying his face in the crook of her neck, lightly kissing and nipping. "You feel fine? No symptoms." She's confused now and he doesn't understand, he's getting beyond annoyed with her defiance and avoiding answering. It's only when she blurts aloud, with no control that he realizes. "I used healing spell on you! I didn't hurt you did I?" It's only when the Mage responds that he realizes, he had healed him.

Both physically, mentally but his addiction had been somewhat muted and yet hadn't felt any desire to fight back.


	3. Chapter 3: Deprived

a/n: My very first Cullen POV chapter/fanfiction - I apologise for any mistakes or how terrible it may be - I just _had_ to write it, thank-you for all the kudos! Means a lot, if anyone finds any mistakes - please do contact me so I can change any errors. I self-beta at the moment and it's rather difficult with your own work.

2\. Deprived.

His head was pounding, or rather, had been pounding for the past two days due to the overexertion he had put in on his behalf. Lia, was for lack of better term, missing - it had been two days since he had heard of her disappearance, falling into the Fade and creating some sort of Rift in hopes to save them and yet, even now he fears for her and her team. He's been standing there on and off since she had fallen down with the debris from the fortress - Adamant was strong, but clearly not strong enough as it crumbled by the dragon that had caused his beloved to fall over the edge. Demons were spewing from the main rift within the fortress, his soldiers along with the few remaining Wardens had put up a fight; battling wave after wave of endless torment.

How Cullen longed to have her back in his arms, but how soon that would be - he was still unsure. The ache in his head began to subside temporarily but the ache in his muscles and his heart were still present, the desire for lyrium was still there, fighting day in and day out for the drug that held him on a tight leash. A leash he refused to keep it's grasp on him, it was lethal as it were controlling but the drug held no boundaries and he would never be tied to a life he had experienced in the past.

"Sir, the _Inquisitor_ has returned through the rift in the center of Adamant." As soon as the messenger had passed through the tent, they had erected to allow soldiers to take breaks and heal, Cullen was already heading to the location his messenger had spoken about.

Warden's remained, as did the Inquisition; but most of all his beloved remained - somewhat intact, with some minor injuries, in the middle where the rift once stood, spewing demons. She met his gaze, ochre with fade green (ironically) before a small smile graced her lips; it was only then when he glanced at her - his eyes lingering on what he could see physically, was only then when his heart relaxed and the true extent of his lyrium deprived mind set in.

Cullen stumbled forward, when everything went black - his body weak with exhaustion.

When he awakes, his body feels relieved along with numbness of being lyrium deprived: his head feels lighter as does his whole being. He's groggy, none-the-less and takes him several minutes to open his eyes to the somewhat harsh light bearing through. It's only then when Cullen realises what must've happened, that his memory stops at the mark of seeing Lia after a few days of disappearing. "Hey.." She whispers beside him, his head moves - his eyes adjusting before he takes in her completely, her golden hair pulled into her usual hair do (plates and braids of sorts) there's tiredness in her eyes and visible on her skin, a few specks of faint freckles cover her forehead and cheekbones.

"Morning.." He slurs slightly, burring his face into her neck - breathing in her sweet scent, she must've bathed during his blackout; his arms tighten around her, glad that she's back and in one piece. "I missed you.." Cullen whispered into her flesh, Lia hums before replying. "I know… I missed you too." She replies back, her fingers running through his golden locks; "You need to look after yourself when I disappear. I can't guarantee when I'll return, but I always will." She pauses, tilting his face up so his gaze meets hers, "I promise, Cullen."


	4. Chapter 4: Let Me Love You

a/n: I know, an update again in the same day when I go ages without one. Struggling to write but here it is. Any mistakes are my own, I am currently uploading my work onto AO3 under the same username - hit me up over there.

**Updated:** 27th June 2016, thank-you to those who messaged/reviewed about the format. I do apologise, it was taken directly from my AO3 account and got messed up in HTML format -.-

**Count:** 670.

Chapter 3: Let me love.

She interrupts his meeting with his men- his troops, leaning against the door until his eyes met hers and the one sided grin lit up Cullen's face. It's like the world stops on its axis and everything changes, it was only when Amelia Trevalyn realises that he's ordered his men away and the door is locked that he's watching her intently. Just the predatory look, the desire in Cullen's eyes is enough. She moves over to the table, light conversation flowing until the glass of wine slips off the edge and a gasp escapes Lia's lips, glancing over to see the damage but it's when she feels Cullen's body against her own, pressing her harder to the table that she can see the pure want on his face. The next thing she knows is that the paper reports and other wine bottle tumbles off the edge before Cullen's pushing her to lay across with him covering her. Their lips fight a dominant battle of lust and desire, it's mutual the feelings they share and it's only when they require breathe that the kiss is broken.

Cullen's lips gliding down Lia's neck, until the tunic is untied and halfway off her torso, her hands holding tight in his golden hair. It's the moan that escapes her when the rest of her clothing is removed and his mouth is now lingering between her calves and the apex thighs. His tongue laps at her, the taste of her is divine that he's barely able to hold on to himself - the desire wrecking his body is white hot. "Cullen.." She moans, her pitch high as pleasure wrecks through her body, her toes curling and her legs tightening around his head. One hand of fingers tighten in his golden locks whilst the other grips the desk for support; his fingers slip within her and it's only moments until Lia begins to scream Cullen's name aloud; euphoria.

Hardly sedated but pleased along with the utmost pleasure running wild through her bloodstream, her breathing erratic as he entered her slowly, barely the tip grazing through before fully penetrating her. "Oh, Lia." His voice deep, rough and pure want lingers in his words. It's an experience for them both, he nor she had, had such relationship so deep and connected. His mouth meets hers, golden eyes framed with long black lashes meets her and it's a beautiful sight; his tongue tastes like of her sex but she can hardly care. With each thrust of his hips, she reaches up to join him; her back arching on the table; her grip tightening around his broad shoulders. Perspiration gathers on both bodies through the activity the two share, his thrusts begin to go erratic when she Lia finds her peak along with his shortly.

Collapsing on top of her, careful of his weight, the Commander of the Inquisition glances down; a small side smile graces his lips as he pecks hers. "You are beautiful." He whispers, his heart is beating so loudly, he's honestly surprised she can't hear it herself. "The bed this time?" She grins but whimpers as he pulls out of her, slightly tender from the excursion. He picks up her, allowing her arms and limbs to wrap around his naked body before climbing up the ladder - the two of them blissfully unaware of the outside world and get lost in each other.


End file.
